"...tending to evade grasp or pursuit, hard to comprehend or define..." (Merriam-Webster's Collegiate, 10th ed.)...Elusive...Snow coated the barren limbs, attempting to protect them from the icy claws of winter. Beautiful as diamonds in the sunshine, the little crystal flakes flitted like fairies onto the frozen brown earth below...and yet the wonder of winter was not enough for the trees, who longed to bury themselves in the warmth of the newly budding spring leaves on their branches--to be rescued from the painful exposure winter inevitably brings.
Like trees, we are all forced to endure the cyclical seasons of our lives, our relationships, and even ourselves. I may go to sleep one night, spring in my hands, and awake to a blizzard in my heart. It is inevitable that the longer we live, the more seasons we will face, the more barring we must endure to our soul, the more stripping and blossoming our hearts must undergo.
We are flowers in this great garden God has created. Some of us more beautiful, some more hardy, some lasting endless seasons, others disappearing with the first fall frost. We all desire and require the same things to survive, no matter how long our season is: nourishment, love, cleansing, and warmth.
It is easy to look at a garden and spot the prettiest flower. So often we find the prettiest is the first to fade, never to be seen again. Then, as time passes, we find ourselves longing for its beauty, so we set out in search of that elusive replacement--that seed or bulb that will instantly sprout and blossom, filling our hearts with the beauty and magic we so crave.
All the while, the garden grows around us, each day passing by new buds, fighting to blossom and be noticed. We half-heartedly weed, water, and feed the garden, our hearts and minds still clinging to that elusive flower of yesterday.
Weeks go by and it rains daily, water blackening once gray streets and sidewalks, huddling in puddles on crowded driveways--praying for the sun to return. When it does, we dash outside, basking in the glory of the renewed promise and warmth. We walk by the garden as we have done so many days before, only this time, something catches our eye, causes us to pause, then stop and stare. For in the midst of the familiar, we see something new, something so simplistic, it almost seems surreal, and yet, its beauty and design is so unique, so enchanting, we cannot help but lean in to touch it, knowing that our hearts and minds will never be the same again once we do.
So many times in life we view dreams, feelings, relationships as elusive, unreachable--shooting stars that pass by our eyes once or twice, but will never truly be ours to embrace or enjoy. We spend so hours, days, years wishing, hoping, praying for something, someone, some feeling from the past to return to us, to restore within in us that feeling of wholeness, that connection to the universe, that spirit of aliveness that we never can quite seem to bottle and keep.
We go to bed each night, hopeful that we will awake to find our dreams knocking at our door, on bended knee, begging to be let in. One day we wake up and realize that unlike people, dreams are not tangible until we give them life. That it is impossible to wish something into reality. That instead of wasting minutes, days, years of our lives hoping for our future to be dropped into our laps, we must set goals, work hard, and fight for what we believe in.
While driving one winter afternoon, I saw a hawk fly from a tree above some nearby vineyards. It was one of the most amazing things I had ever seen. I was determined to get a picture of one and spent nearly two years pulling off dirt roads, the I-90, etc desperately trying to get that shot.
Finally I realized that it was impossible to capture a hawk, as they are much more eloquent at being elusive than I am at pursuit, so I resigned myself to the fact that if I was meant to get the picture, I would when the time was right.
One fall afternoon, I was walking out of the bathroom with my three young daughters when I heard a loud rustle in a nearby tree. I looked up just in time to see the beauty above, posed most graciously on a limb, surrounded by the splendor of autumn.
I grabbed my ever ready camera from the stroller and being taking pictures. With each click of the shutter I became more and more enchanted with this magnificent creature. The hawk gazed down at me, amused by my admiring, then swiftly flew off into the horizon...leaving its image as a reminder that to every season there is a reason and rhyme...
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